sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
