If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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