Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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