Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
pray to the hookup gods
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
