i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
