I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
