...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
