I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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