i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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