Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
