so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
