similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
