This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
