David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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