so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
