I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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