i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize