thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to stick my p in your. b.
we made out on top of his cat.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
