He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He did a backflip because drugs
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