Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
