If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
