that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
