Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
