She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
