I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
