Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
