He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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