I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
