remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
