Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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