I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
