Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just forgot I was standing up.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
