you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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