from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
