found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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