the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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