I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
