so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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