Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
In America we eat man semen.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
