i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
