I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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