What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
