I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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