did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
