based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
