i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
