Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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