maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
