I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
