all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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