Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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