can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
