You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
