so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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