What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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