But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
