direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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