we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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