there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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