Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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